I'm not sure if this is the situation with everyone and I know you're not supposed to be judgemental, but sometimes it is very difficult. In our family situation, we know how and why the family member is in the situation they're in and help has been offered more than once and in many different ways. Our particular family member is ungrateful when help is offered and doesn't do anything to help their current situation. We gave them some food and they complained that we didn't give them something they would eat, people would try to give them odd jobs to make money and they would find other complaints. It's better to remain ignorant sometimes. Hence the reason we like to donate to strangers, other than family.